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I have a joke ...?
A Frenchman, Mexican, American and were stuck on an island when they saw the Indians coming. So he asked if the Indians could help them leave the island. The Indians said they need to leave the island for three handcuffed and put in a box with a knife, fork and firearms. The Indians told them to kill so I could use his skin as a cloak for his canoe. The Frenchman took the gun and said, "Viva la France "and shot himself. The Mexican took the knife and whispered something quietly and stabbed himself. The American took his fork and said," Fuck your canoe! "and pierced through his body and died. affended sorry if anyone ... I just heard from a friend and I wanted to know what people thought.
AMERICANS ARE SOOOO SMART! Too bad I am an Indian. But not that kind, I am a Sikh. a kind of India. Not the kind Native American. I am an Indian, lol. And this joke ..... Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the state fair each year. Every year Stumpy would say, "Martha, I would fly there. And every year Martha would say, "I I know Stumpy, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars. "One year Stumpy and Martha went to the fair and Stumpy said, "Martha, I am 71 years old. If I walk on the plane this year that never get another chance." Martha replied, "Stumpy, that travel costs plane of ten dollars and ten dollars is ten dollars. "The pilot was overheard saying:" Friends, I'll make a deal, I'll take you, both for a trip. If you can remain silent throughout the journey and not a word, not charge you, but if you say one word that is ten dollars. " Stumpy and Martha agreed and up they went. The pilot had all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word was heard. He did all his tricks again, but not still a word. They landed and the pilot turned to Stumpy, "My God, I did everything I could think of to get to scream, but did not." Stumpy replied, " Well, I would say something when Martha fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars. "<><><><><><><><> A <><><><><><><>... cyclist enters a yuppie bar and shouts, "All lawyers are a ** holes! "He looks around, hoping no doubt a challenge. Finally, a man approaches her, touching her shoulder and says," I said. "The rider says, "Why? Are you a lawyer?" "No, I am a ** hole." <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>... A sunny day in 2008, an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue where he''''d been sitting on a bench the park. He went to Marine Standing Guard and said: "I'd come and meet with President Hillary Clinton." The Marine replied, "Lord, Mrs. Clinton is not President and doesn''''t reside here. "The old man said," Okay "and walked away. The day Next, the same man approached the White House and told the same Marine, "I like to go and meet with President Hillary Clinton." The Marine again told the man: "Sir, as I said yesterday, Mrs. Clinton is not President and doesn''''t reside here." Man thanked him and again walked away. The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke with the very same Marine, saying: "I would go and meet with President Hillary Clinton. "The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said:" Sir, this is the third day in a row that have been here asking to speak to Mrs. Clinton. I''''ve already said several times that Mrs.Clinton not the President and doesn''''t reside here. Don''''t understand? "The old man replied:" Oh, I understand you. I love hearing your answer! "The Marine snapped to attention, saluted and said, "See you tomorrow. <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>... sunny day in 2008, an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue where he''''d been sitting on a bench park. He went to Marine Standing Guard and said: "I'd come and meet with President Hillary Clinton." The Marine replied, "Lord, Mrs. Clinton is not President and doesn''''t reside here. "The old man said," Okay "and walked away. The day Next, the same man approached the White House and told the same Marine, "I like to go and meet with President Hillary Clinton." The Marine again told the man: "Sir, as I said yesterday, Mrs. Clinton is not President and doesn''''t reside here." Man thanked him and again walked away. The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke with the very same Marine, saying: "I would go and meet with President Hillary Clinton. "The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said:" Sir, this is the third day in a row that have been here asking to speak to Mrs. Clinton. I''''ve already said several times that Mrs.Clinton not the President and doesn''''t reside here. Don''''t understand? "The old man replied:" Oh, I understand you. I love hearing your answer! "The Marine snapped to attention, saluted and said, "See you tomorrow. <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>... A professor at a small Texas town. She asks her class how many of them are Bush supporters. Not knowing what a Bush supporter, but the desire to be liked by the teacher, all the children raised their hands except one boy - Johnny. The teacher asks Johnny why he decided to be different. Johnny says, "I am not a follower of Bush." The teacher says: "Why do not you be a follower of Bush?" Johnny says: "I am a follower of F. John Kerry." The teacher asks why he is a Kerry supporter. The child says, "Well, my mom is a Kerry supporter, and my father is a Kerry supporter, so I'm a Kerry supporter, the master is a kind of rage, because it's Texas, so she says, "What if you mom was an idiot, and you're dad was an idiot, what would you do?" Johnny says, "That would make me a Bush supporter." <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>... A man goes to the doctor and get a check up. The doctor finishes the exam and tells the man: "I have bad news, just about two weeks to live ". Man is surprised. He asks the doctor," Is there anything I could do for the time I have left more tolerable? "The doctor thinks for a moment. "One thing you could do." "Just a name, do whatever I''''ll. He tells man to take a lot of mud baths, two or three a day. The man looks at his doctor asks, "that will help my condition?" The doctor says: "No, but you get used to the earth." ................................. A man went to a doctor because she felt sick. The doctor said: "I have bad news, you have 10 to live. "He said 10 what, 10 weeks, 10 days, 10 months. Doctor: 10, 9, 8 ................. .......... ...... A young man was lost wandering in a forest when he found a small house. He knocked and was greeted by an old Chinese man with a long beard, gray. "I'm lost" said the man. "Can you give me at night?" "Certainly," the Chinese said, "but with one condition." If so much as lay a finger on my daughter I would inflict on the three worst Chinese tortures known to man. "" Ok "said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered at home. Before dinner the daughter came downstairs. She was young, beautiful, and had a fantastic figure. Obviously, it was attracted by the young, since I could not keep his eyes off her during the meal. Recalling the old warning, he ignored her and went to bed alone. However, during that night he could not stand more, and went into his room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man would not listen. Near dawn, he crawled back to his room, exhausted but happy. He woke to feel a tightness in the chest. He opened his eyes, he saw a large stone in the chest with a note on it saying: "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest." "Well, that's pretty shit, he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do, then I do not have much to worry about. "He took the stone up, walked to the window and threw the rock out. In doing so he noticed another note that said: "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle." In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already close to the end. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped from the window after the rock. As they fell down was a big sign on the ground that read: "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost ". ................................. A big burly man , meets a woman in a bar. After a series of drinks, agree to return to their place. Because they are doing in the bedroom, gets up and starts to undress. After taking his shirt, flexes his muscular arms and says: "See that? Baby That''s 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She begins to drool. The man drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder 'arise and says, referring to his bulging thighs, "See those, baby? That''s 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She is aching for action at this point. Finally, the lower the pants, and after a quick look, grabs her purse and runs screaming to the front door. The catch before she can leave and asks: "Why such a hurry to go?" She answers: "With 2,000 pounds of dynamite and a fuse so short, I fear that is about to fly! ".......................... ....... A girl asks her boyfriend to come Friday night and dinner with their parents. Since this is a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, I like to go and make love for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but has never had sex, so it takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. In the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he'll be too busy, being his first time and everything. That night, the child is in the house of the parents of the child and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited you know my parents go! "The boy goes inside and is taken to the table where they feel the parents of the girl. The boy quickly offers to say grace and low head. Within one minute, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. By Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to her boyfriend, "I had no idea that this religious." The child becomes, again and whispers, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist. ..................... ............ A man goes to his doctor and says,''Doctor, Doctor, please help me! I have a problem.''The doctor examines the man and finds the man has a red ring around his penis. The doctor gives you a ointment to rub on the problem area.''Everything is clear!''the man reports when he returns. ''But what medication you gave me ?'''' Lipstick remover.'' Have a good night and please leave a commet if you choose me as best answer.
Good lucky!